Fandom Rant!

Quelle surprise ( – no one ever), but this was very likely long overdue.

Twitter got me all hot and bothered yesterday and with damn good reason: FANDOM FUCKERY BINGO.

Let’s play, shall we?

One of my biggest gripes against fandom has always been and always will be the liberties some fans seem to take with certain celebrity’s privacy and boundaries. And not recognising that the people they allegedly adore are entitled to both and in fucking spades.

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So, here’s what’s been grinding my gears too damn hard and for too damn long.

Issue One: Posting very private information on line. WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS? I’ll tell you who – goddamn thirsty children in KPOP fandom. OH HAI LETS POST PIX OF <INSERT NAME> PASSPORT ON THE INTERWEBS!! YEAH!! WHAT ARE CONSEQUENCES, EVEN LIKE LOLZ OMG?! OPPAR PLEASE NOTICE ME OK?! Saranghaaaeeee!!1!!1

Wow. Yes. So I, rather politely (again, surprising for me), informed the feral little bastards whom I saw splashing this all over twitter yesterday that this was crossing a major line. They’d posted passport information online. They didn’t seem to get that this was a problem.  And  then they apologised to ME. It’s your oppars you should be fucking well apologising to you goddamn dullards.

How would you feel if that happened to you? Imagine if someone got hold of your passport or drivers licence or other highly personal information and spread it all over the internet? Or that of your friends and family? THINK FOR FUCK SAKES.

Do not even get me started on the people who start following friends and family members and others on the periphery of a celebrity’s fame on social media “just because”. We’ll be here all fucking day and dead horse is already beaten, yo. (Can you say “STALKER”, children?)

Issue Two: Shoving your ship in peoples faces. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a shipper from way back (and likely always will be) but me and most others in fandoms I’ve met would never want to flash our ship in front of the people that we’re shipping together. Because we get that it’s not real – even though you may wish really, really extra hard for it to be so, it just ISN’T. That’s why you write about it and make awesome fan art about it and share it with like-minded people. To work out your creativity. For fun. For the joy it gives you and sometimes others. For shits and giggles and “ah, if only, eh?” and the multitude of hours spent *wistful sigh*-ing about perfect OTP being perfect.

The idea that any of these things would be thrust under the noses of those we write about or make (often erotic) fan art about is heinously abhorrent to most. But, oh no. Don’t let that stop you from doing it. HERE’S A BRILLIANT IDEA! Why not make shipping signs and boards (some with naked fan art…) and take them to public places (concerts, conventions, fan meets, etc) so they can see how much you believe in their (non-existent) love!!! YASSSS!!! IT WON’T BE WEIRD OR STOP ANY FUN INTERACTIONS AT ALL!!! LIKE WHAT EVEN ARE THOSE BOUNDARY THINGS AGAIN?! LOL OMG BORING KEKLEZ BBQ!!

In saying that, there are many famous people are  FULLY COGNISANT of the various ships  they’re shipped in and make mention of them and read some of the fan fic and check out some of the fan art online about them. Some. Not ALL. And even though they DO talk about it and ship themselves in the ships (I’m looking at you, M*sh* and Tr*ll*nd* <333), there’s still a large swathe that don’t. It legitimately makes some people uncomfortable – they acknowledge it exists and that’s fine – but they don’t want or need to be confronted with it.

Further to that, there’s still a hefty section of all fandoms that aren’t comfortable with shipping either – which is perfectly acceptable too. BUT HEY! YOU GO RIGHT ON AHEAD AND SELFISHLY MAKE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE NOTICED. As long as you can share your super awesome totes unselfish experience with the internet, right?

BOUNDARIES?! What are those?! Hahaha, whatevs because senpai finally noticed me!!11!

And I will not reiterate my abhorrence for airport photos either. Shoving and pushing your phone in people’s faces while screaming. JUST SO FUCKING COOL, RIGH? I look forward to the day you loose units get clotheslined by security or senpai themselves. You’ll fucking deserve it.

Urgh. Just… urgh!

Issue Three: Being a dick on social media to your faves. So you think you’re invisible because senpai doesn’t tweet you back? And you think that senpai won’t see the stupid thing you said trying to goad an answer out of them. Or that awful thing you said about them or their friends or family on another social media platform – DIRECTED AT THEM? THEY SEE IT, CHILD. You’re a festering moron if you think otherwise. It may be the company or a PA running their social media but it still gets to them, make no mistake.

And as we’ve seen recently, a certain few someones have been clapping the mealy-mouthed children right back and calling them out for being arseholes.

You really, truly deserve it. Senpai drinks your tears, it’s what keeps them so vital and radiant.

Issue Four: Hypocrites, hypocrites, everywhere! Of all the things I have ranted about here today, my favourite amongst all of them is the hypocritical fan. The ones who disagree with the displays I’ve outlined above, YET!… yet, if one of them happens to be aligned with their ideals then OMG YAY IT’S SO COOL. *applauds* YOU’RE THE BEST!!!

Geebus fucking Chrambonia.

These people evidently lack the courage of their alleged convictions as long as it aligns nicely with their shipper views and aesthetic. Cherry-picking as to what’s okay and what’s not because that’s just how life works, yeah?

IN CLOSING….

According to the Book of Nightshade, none of it’s okay.  Give your faves some fucking space and privacy. They are entitled to the same freedoms you and I are, so let them fucking have it. And DO NOT DARE bandy about the old adage of: “but they knew what they were signing up for when they became famous” because I will come and slap the taste out of your mouth. I would not recommend tempting me.

I can guarantee you that no one (not a single one!) signed up for dealing with your unmitigated levels of fuckery and wank. Get that through your thick skull and keep your bullshit – and your hands – to yourself, arsehats.

~Signing Off In Prickly Poisonous Outrage~

Yours Seethingly,

-MsN.